i'm sure most of you are painfully aware that i don't have any writing skills. while i do believe i have technical writing skills, as evidenced by the A i received in
english 202C (uh, summer session :) ) as well as the
published paper i wrote last year, when it comes to creative writing i'm as out of luck as a, er, hmmm...let's see, um...well, you get my point.
part of the reason i started this blog was to advance my writing skills. or what i really should say is to
start writing. i did write in a journal once upon a time. it was a great thing, but when i'm the only one reading it, i'm not as aware of sentence structure, my choice of words, active/passive voice, etc. basically i just didn't care about those things, as i was writing for self-therapy.
writing is just so hard for me to do (well, creative writing, that is). even just saying (or typing) "i am going to start writing" makes me cringe. when i read
margaret atwood, i long to have her talent. some of the things she writes are so perfect - she gets the point across in a way that i wish i could do sometimes, even when talking. (i wish i had an example here with me now, but i am currently reading tolstoy's
anna karenina - no m.atwood until i 1) finish tolstoy and 2) pick up another m.atwood book.)
i think part of my problem is that i don't have a good enough handle of the english language. i don't really "get" those sayings - you know the ones: "the pot calling the kettle black," or "counting your chickens before they hatch" (or whatever). that's not to say that if someone understands them they are a good writer. (and probably, i would bet that using those sayings leads to using cliches, which i know are the bane of great writing.) and having a limited vocabulary doesn't help either.
i remember being in seventh grade. our assignment was to write a story. afterwards, we were supposed to get up in front of the room and read our story to the rest of the class. i remember being completely stressed about the entire ordeal, meanwhile all the other students were sharing their ideas and stories with each other. i, of course, sat at my desk by myself thinking of something creative to write about. in the end, i got through it, though i was very aware that my story made the least sense, and had no
YO factor. i'm sure my classmates were wondering what the hell i was talking about and i could feel their stares as i read aloud my (dull) story. i was quite embarrassed about the whole thing.
i still harbor these same insecurities to this day.
when i write, i am reluctant for people to read it, because i am so aware of my inability to be creative with words (i'm more of a "numbers" person, i suppose). blogging (though, i do not know how many people read this) hopefully, will help me overcome my shyness. in the near future i want to take a creative writing class. if i don't push my boundaries, i'll never know how good i could really be or become. i'm hoping that if i practice enough, i will be comfortable enough to show my writing to others, and eventually lead to a gig in food writing.
we'll see.
Labels: blogging, random